Yes, this is a true story. I am not making this up. I repeat I did not make this up!
Today, I was studying in a Houston coffee shop whilst reading Buzzfeed to further procrastinate my studies when I came upon an article from Buzzfeed about a local man who happened to drop 125 pounds with a combination of drastic and daily changes to his lifestyle. I mentally applauded the feats he had to overcome and dismissed the article and person it was about for I was binge reading. I then got up to get a second dirty chai latte—maybe I should make a few changes myself—only to recognize a leg full of tattoos I think I had seen before. (I was looking down) I swear I am not a perv. The tattoos are very distinctive, you now. I glanced up quickly to have my hunch confirmed. Yup, he had the same signature curly mass of a mane atop his head. I surely hope I didn’t have the classic “Ashley” expressions that are usually plastered across my face revealing every thought that dances across my mind:
Did I just read about him?
Of all the places.
Like, weird. Too small of a world.
Why so many tatts?
Does he use as much conditioner as I do?
That would be a ton of conditioner.
He’s normal size now. Now, that takes some hard work. Awesome.
Aw man I am creeping. Let me sit down and verify.
YUP. THAT’S HIM.
Is he wearing that same plaid shirt?
So, I did what any creeper would do and posted something:
Then read all the other comments and laughed at a couple ovaries exploding *awkward*:
Ugh. RUDE. Didn’t you read the article!?
THEN, my creepiness was verified:
I’ve seen that name before…oh snap, the thumbnail *mental facepalm*
Yes, the subject of the article just liked it and I had to walk past him to get to the bathroom.
It’s the little things in life that give you a chuckle.
♫’Cause I creep yeahhhhh I just keep it on the down low!♫
I hope he doesn’t find this. YOLO.
Check out his Instagram here.