You are a lady. Flower Power.

Hello world.

So I was looking at my Facebook feed when I stumbled across something from thoughtcatalog.com. It was 19 Tips For Females In 2012. I, being of the female persuasion, of course clicked the link. It had many honest good tips that those with XX chromosomes tend to forget! Here are my favorites:

1. If his greatest attribute is “SWAG,” run in the opposite direction. (Don’t worry, there’s a 98% chance that his jeans will be sagging below his rear, so he’ll have no shot at catching you.)

2. Either start approaching guys or stop complaining about the ones who approach you. Its 2012, there’s nothing wrong with adopting that Sadie Hawkins Dance mindset.

8. Do wear yoga pants in public. I don’t mean to sound shallow or chauvinistic but there’s literally an entire website dedicated to “Girls In Yoga Pants” so this phenomenon is global.

10.Stretch marks aren’t as significant as you think. I’ve never heard of a (half-decent) guy rejecting a girl he liked because of such a petty thing.

11. Don’t “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man.” Simply act and think like a lady and in due time, you’ll attract yourself a gentleman.

15. Not all social events need be turned into photo shoots. Don’t forget to actually experience things because you’re busy taking pictures.

Now, the one that caught my attention was number eleven. I absolutely agree with this one hundred percent. Steve Harvey’s Act like a Lady, Think like a Man was a bestseller, but it definitely didn’t sell me. First of all, why would you want to think like a man? We women are phenomenal human beings. Our olfactory system, multi-tasking, and verbal abilities, just to name are few, are scientifically superior to the male race. Why in the hell would you want to trade in your Maserati for a Camry? (Mind you, Maserati is just a nice car. Camry’s rock, man. Fuel efficiency and twenty-something style? Psh. Sold. But this is besides the point) Women are known for being able to bend any man to their will. I call that, to be crass, the power of the flower. If this is not catching on, I feel sorry for you. Women are smart. Women are revolutionary. Women are fierce. Women are fearless. I mean, we voluntarily decide to have children sans unfortunate exceptions and bounce back afterwards. Now that is resiliency. Who would want to be a man who can’t focus when someone is wearing yoga pants? Nah, yoga pants just aren’t our thing. They don’t phase us. Which, unless they do… Right on, sista. Right on. Do your thang girl. Regardless! Women would be less distracted. Grr, this was a slight digression. Next point.

Men, I would think, want a girl, a woman, a lady. They don’t want a man in fantastic, indistinguishable drag. That ain’t everybody’s thing, you know. So be a lady. Be the definition of ‘lady’ that you fit into. ‘Lady’ to me is not ‘lady’ to another woman. So be you’re ‘lady’. Next point.

This “…Think like a man” phrase has been coined by Steve Harvey like I said. His upcoming movie which is conveniently named after his book is due to come out this weekend. I will see it out of curiosity. I just hope it isn’t another Black movie that tells their women to settle. That makes me cringe. Because all our society (yes, our society. White people be watchin’ this, too!) needs is another Tyler Perry-esque movie to wrap all the assumptions, stereotypes, and fallacies of our culture and mass produce it in a veil of attractive actors and style. For those of you who  reflect light, here’s the movie I am talking about:

Jennifer Hudson even has a song about it (I do admit this song is catchy though ):

Peace, love, and blessings, y’all.

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