Warning: Content contains generalizations. Don’t be offended or be offended. I don’t care, kind of. These are simply my opinions in a rant. They are subject to rash judgment.
Okay, so someone on my Twitter feed shared this blog about VH1 hating black women and before I even read it, I knew what it would sound like and I completely agree with the writer’s (a mother and a professional) anger at the media today and how they present black women. We can talk about this till we are blue in the face and many have probably already heard this argument especially if they are black. So, for the sake of your attention span I will get right to my annoyances.
1. The women in the above picture a beautiful but do they have to look like such…excuse my French…bitches? This tight-dress-wearing, weave-slanging, high-maintenance hip hop wives are much better than that and should be above that. Women y’all are like in your late 30’s and early 40’s. You should not be competing with the twenty-somethings in looks. They always win.
2. Why are black women always somebody’s (athlete or music star or producer) wife? Like, are they the only important ones? I don’t care about your life. Your life is probably like a music video all. the. time. It’s like same crap different day. It’s like watching the Kardashians. What’s the point of their lives?
3. Black women and physical fights being over-exposed. Not EVERY black girl fights. We aren’t all from the hood, you know. In fact many of us aren’t! Tell someone that two black girls got in a fight and he or she will 1) not be surprised (sad) 2) shrug 3) Ask if someone got their hair pulled out which leads me to
4) I see these heifers posting pictures of their bags of hair that just came in with specifics on what kind of hair it is and what color (in the form of a number sometimes) the weave is. What!? I don’t wanna see that and girl, I know you spent a whole paycheck on that when you could’ve bought a textbook or a new computer. Digression: Many of my acquaintances and I have argued over the weave crack. Some say it’s because they don’t have the confidence to rock short hair ( their own) which is another problem in and of itself, they’re lazy, it’s “prettier”, or because they’re trying so hard to be like those divas on TV.
Question: Why can’t you rock your own hair? Yes, you may not have confidence, but you rock that weave and 9 times out of 10 everyone will know it’s fake. Like, “Hey! I see you grew a foot of hair overnight! How’d you do it?”. I don’t care of any other race does it. That’s how their hair looks. This goes for perms, too. Do you see them rockin’ fros? Nope. (This is another issue entirely, however, but that’s too much to talk about right now). I understand straightening it/using extensions for the sake of style or maybe you just like how it looks, but when you decide to do so out of hatred of your own, that’s where the problem begins. So you’re lazy? Cool, I am too when it comes to my hair, but honey, I work-out and live in Texas and have a standard level of hygiene to uphold. So when your Malaysian chocolate brown silkiness starts going sour let me know if its worth smelling like something went bad in your hair. “Well, I don’t work out and try not to sweat.” Girl, that thing costs at least $200 and stays on your head forever. You will sweat and it will get touched my moisture of some kind. I guess that’s worth being unhealthy and having a month’s supply of sweat, oil, and hair product caked on your scalp. And you wonder why your hair won’t grow? Plus, isn’t it itchy and uncomfortable? What’s funny is that it’s completely normal and it’s rocking your natural that’s radical. It’s like:
“Hey, I’m busy today”
“Why?”
“I have to get my obvious semi-permanent wig put on.”
“Oh, that takes forever! Hate that, but we must do it!”
Excuse the judgmental tone. Do whatever makes you happy and content. Yup. Mmhmm.
5) My fellow black women will you please smile and drop the attitude? Nobody stole your cookie (no pun intended) and they ain’t done shit to you. So be pleasant. Stop being rough. Don’t de-classify yourself by speaking in sharp staccato-like tones, sucking your teeth (creates that click-like sound), moving your neck like you have no neck bone, pursing your lips, and overall being abrasive. I know your mama didn’t raise you like that. Stop being entitled. People will be nice to you if and only if you give them the same respect. I hate seeing these beautiful, confident walking/standing black women somewhere and am happy to see something positive for a change until they open their mouth. It’s okay to be soft and delicate sometimes.
6) Name-brands don’t mean jack. This is for the divas (of all races, actually) who only buy name brands because they feel they have something to prove to the world. This carries over to how they scope out possible mates. I don’t care that he wears Polo Ralph Lauren. You can buy that at Marshalls, honey. I also don’t want to see any brand names overtly splayed across your merchandise. Most of the time the quality is the same as some no name brand. I am glad you want to look cute and go on witcha bad self, but be aware of the message you’re sending. Oh, and if your man has some expensive shoes on and bought them in cash you best be wary. Having credit is important you know? Hopefully he at least used a debit card meaning he uses a bank. This is for all races by the way, but I know what image is your head. Tsk. Tsk. For me, as long as the guy looks nice (he can be rockin’ Target for all I care. They have cute clothes!), smells good, is going somewhere, and has a stable head on his shoulders, and has some/is working on some kind of college/professional school degree it’s all good. However, I must confess, there are times where I like a certain brand, too, but it only occurs when I have the luxury of being able to buy it. It isn’t a necessity. Like, Steve Madden makes some really cute shoes, but I can get a similar style at a second hand store (Love these) or find them elsewhere at a reduced price if I must have it be Steve Madden. Unless there’s a red-bottom or a name on them, no one knows what brand your shoes are.
7) Stop allowing this diva image to be prolific. I know many women like me who can’t relate to anything that’s on TV that has a black woman in it since they only put on type on there. Y’all know how it is. One black woman represents all black women. So if she ratchet, all black women are ratchet. More black women are educated now than ever before. Why can’t TV see that!?
8) My black women, stop bringing other black women down. This kills me the most. Stop hating on someone because they’re lighter, darker, got something cute on, is going out with a certain guy, is “bougie” or in your opinion is better than you. Stop it. Stop this “well, who does she think she is!?” bull. It is only hurting us. They are not you and you are not them. Don’t kill them because of that. If you see some other black woman doing something positive, smile at her. It will not only make you feel better, look better, and make the space less icy, but it will encourage her to always do better things…I hope. There shall be no more of this crabs-in-a-bucket syndrome. Push them up. Don’t bring them down. It’s not like you’re any less of value than anyone else.
9) We need to lose weight. Plain and simple. It isn’t a vanity or beauty issue. It’s a health issue. You can scream and insult me as loud as you want as you down those delicious red beans and rice for saying this, but my heart will still beat slower than yours. My health risks will still be lower than yours. My bones will have more strength and my health cost will still be lower than yours (give or take some details). No, not all black women are overweight, but a significant amount of them are more so than some races. Don’t get offended. Get even. Bony ain’t cute either, though.
10) Don’t believe the hype about anything that is in mass media because most of it isn’t for your benefit. Much of the media is there to distract you from the real issues at hand. Rise above it. Read into it. Think like I already know y’all do. Why should we give a you-know-what about a fight between Chris Brown and Drake. That’s their business. Read about it. Laugh at it. Then, go do something better. Someone once told me that.
Well, that was my rant. If you read all the way down to this part I commend you. If you didn’t, then you won’t know that this part is here.
Chao