I have just finished watching a documentary about the Kirov Ballet in St. Petersburg. I stumbled upon the documentary on Netflix and it sparked my interest due to the fact that I dance so long back in High School. These girls were insanely dedicated, devoted, and disciplined. It struck a chord with me. I feel as if every serious action to be taken as if you were a ballerina.
What was also interesting was when my exam got pushed back to Tuesday. Mind you, I had studied for this exam, but a horrible anxiety had filled the morning the day of the exam on Thursday. I couldn’t place the source of the anxiety, but something felt off. I was doing my usual snowballing and had succumbed to my negativity. I should have known that my gut feelings are pretty accurate. When I got to class, everyone was speaking of a practice quiz that was posted. You know that feeling of impending doom? That washed over me like a wave. Practice quiz? I had checked the website multiple times…the other folder. There was folder that I hadn’t checked. I overlooked it. I started sweating. I got real quiet. My classmates thought I was going to puke. I sat in my seat flinching and fidgeting….I was fidgeting for a too long period of time. Where was the professor? It is 5 minutes past the time class is supposed to start. At this point the class erupts into a buzz of chatter. 5 minutes later the professor runs in frazzled. “We have a problem.” The class goes quiet. The tests aren’t printed. She sends the TA to print them. 15 minutes have gone by. Another 5 minutes. Nothing. The professor started the lecture meant for next week. The TA comes back. Hushed whispers between the two women. The test is Tuesday.
AND? I know, this sounds incredible ridiculous, but I took this as a sign that I needed to try again or try harder. In other words, I needed to keep going and not give up. To add to a wonderful Thursday, I had coffee with a friend who gave me even more encouragement. Support systems. Everyone needs them. As much as you think that you can go at it alone, you can’t. Every now and then you need that little push that will get you through those bad times. So overall my Thursday was pretty sweet.
To all those superstitious people:_____
Yeah…I have nothing. Happy Friday the 13th!