Alright everyone I am back! Like, I am actually doing this in under ten days. YAY. Now, if you don’t remember, I am speaking about five truths that I have learned over the course of 4 years of college. Today, I will be speaking about number 3. I know, it is out of order, but eh who cares!
- People will put you in a box no matter what you have done.
- Misery loves company (a very known fact, but reinforces itself with lifetime progressions). You get negative vibes at the most surprising moments.
- People will use you. Accept that. Help them. It will pay off in the long-run (so people say)
- You have to be happy with yourself. Ultimately you wake up with yourself. It doesn’t matter who you wake up with. They are not responsible for your happiness. So, take care of yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, etc.
- You have to let go.
Everyone has been used in some way or some form. I am lucky to say that I have not been used that much, but the few times that I have I was annoyed, selfish, and reluctant. I either promptly said no or gave them what they wanted through gritted teeth. I could hear the change in the pitch of their voice in slow motion. Slowly and steadily the pitch rose as the end of the sentence drew nearer. Their eyebrows dramatically rise and they open their eyes a little bigger than normal. The puppy dog face. It’s coming. It’s coming! An ache in my belly grows. No don’t do it. Don’t ask me anything. If I can’t hear you it didn’t happen. Lalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I hastily pretend to be preoccupied with something, but end up looking like I’m trying to juggle during a seizure. Then, it arrives.
“You wouldn’t believe what happened to me the other day…”
“Something came up..”
“Do you mind…”
“I would be so grateful if you could…”
It doesn’t matter how they phrased the question. All that matters is that it was always a question. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Of course people are going to ask small favors. Of course! Well, you’re right. BUT…and don’t kill me over this…favors become less favorable over time. Which leads me to…
The consistency in frequency
I don’t mind picking you up from a sketchy place at 2 am. I don’t mind picking you up from the airport that is 15 miles from the city at midnight. I don’t mind giving you my notes if you missed class. I don’t mind doing a lot things once, twice, a few times, but when it starts becoming a commonplace habit…that’s where I start to get itchy with annoyance. I go straight childish.
“I promise this is the last time”
“I owe you so much!”
“I couldn’t help it! I had no internet!”
Girl, I know you had some interwebs. I SEE THAT YOU’RE ONLINE and it isn’t with the mobile icon either. Mhm, gotcha! When exam time comes or when a festival comes in town…I can anticipate the increase in favor asking. NOOOOO. I was going to ask you the favor. Ugh. You beat me to it. Damn.
These promises of returning the favor most of the time do not get fulfilled. If they do, it is most likely far in the future, but in hindsight, it doesn’t matter. Anyways, there are times where I hate getting those texts or emails from those who are repeatedly asking for the same favor. It drives me crazy. It also isn’t like I don’t ask for favors either. I know my ish stinks sometimes. I am not on my high horse. We all do this. I, personally, need to have a better outlook about it. It won’t cause me anymore stress! Nuh uh! Stress makes you fat.
The moral of the story
In order to prevent my ridiculous childish rant, let me get to the meat. You do it. That’s right. You do it. When someone asks you a favor, you do it. Someone once told me that you always make sure that you don’t have any favor “debt”. Meaning that you make sure that you give out more than you take in. Don’t owe anybody anything. That way, you have positive points so to speak. You can essentially cash in on these points later in time.
“Hey, remember that time I did x,y,z? Yes? Well, do you mind doing x,y,z for me?”
Now this all seems very much like common sense. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” AKA Karma. What goes around comes around, right? Definitely. I don’t know if I am going to hell for this, but karma is real y’all. Karma don’t play.
Another one of my friends said that “life is too short to be mean”. I mean, that’s true, you know. (excuse those comma splices) Holding grudges and being mean only affect you since the other person can just…walk away or never knows. Again, any kind of stress makes you fat.
Also, don’t ask questions when asked for a favor. At least, ask questions selectively depending on the person. (Of course if this person has a sketchy history, you best ask questions or you’re just a tragedy waiting to happen.) However, in general if a friend, colleague, coworker, or well known acquaintance asks you for a favor and if it doesn’t cause any significant, detrimental harm to you; you do it. Another way to think of it is if you do it, would it significantly change any outcome than if you had not done it? If it doesn’t cause a significant change, just do it. You never know when good things are going to head your way. They always come at the most unexpected, perfect times.
So, ultimately what I am saying is…
You get the picture. Just do nice things, people. You will get used and that is okay. Don’t sweat the small stuff and be nice to each other. I’m out.